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Lily Munster, Morticia Addams, and the Catwomen

Dear Billi,

Lily Munster, Morticia Addams, and all the Catwomen dominated my teen life. I find they have a lot to do with my middle-age life too. (I swear, I try not to be a pig. I tell myself every morning, don’t be a pig, don’t be a pig, don’t be a pig. Then, bang, I am a pig.)

Dark, dangerous, scary. Plus, those eyes. It’s all very scary and alluring. But that’s what Americans want, don’t they?

I was a kid, for God’s sake. I was a Catholic kid in the House of Opression, Repression, and Obsession.

I think now you understand where I’ve always had a thing for older women. These women were in kids shows, jesusmaryandjospeh. Get past it? Date women my age?

Fat fuckin’ chance.

All love,
Patrick

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